I've been this way as long as I can remember and it's even earned me the nickname "NFJ" A.K.A. "No Fun Jamie." It's plagued me since my early 20's when going out and partying with friends was considered the norm and staying in to read a good book was "totally lame." Now that I'm a mom in my mid 30's, spending a Saturday night at home is more acceptable but I'm still living up to my moniker. Here are the signs that support my self diagnosis.
1. I never answer my phone. I feel put on the spot and need at least a few minutes to think and prepare before returning the call.
2. I make lists, lists, and more lists. I don't like feeling unprepared.
3. I need alone time to recharge and feel refreshed. It's the time I look forward to the most each day.
4. I am never bored when I'm by myself. I can always come up with something to do whether it's reading, organizing, browsing Facebook, or making lists ;)
5. I value my down time. I rarely schedule more than one or two social outings per weekend. And more often than not they're with family.
6. I prefer writing. If I have something important to get across I prefer on paper as as I have a chance to gather my thoughts.
7. I hate anger. I don't like expressing it or being the recipient of it.
8. Schedules are my friends. I like seeing what I have coming up so I can mentally prepare. A last minute change throws me for a loop. I prefer an actual paper planner too, I have tried digital but it's not the same.
9. I've been misunderstood. I had a girl once tell me that she thought I was a total snob when we first met because I was quiet and didn't engage. When actually I was probably just trying to figure out what to say and not be dorky.
10. I don't go on vacation to meet people. I just want to enjoy who I came with and rarely engage with fellow travellers beyond a quick and casual hello.
11. I'm uncomfortable entering an empty store. And I most likely won't enter if there are numerous sales people gathered together.
12. I. HATE. SLEEPOVERS. And I always have. I feel trapped staying in someone else's home, I don't have my own space to retreat or escape. Sharing a hotel room is the same. It's nothing personal, I feel this way about everyone except my husband and son.
13. I don't like open ended visitors. I sometimes avoid having people over as they may overstay their welcome. Again, not personal. I remember as a young teenager one of my friends would sometimes just come home with me without being invited and it felt like she would never leave! She was my best friend.
14. Visiting leaves me drained. After a few hours I feel more tired than if I was physically active.
15. I'm always early. I prefer to be one of the first to arrive so I'm not entering a full room and can find a comfortable place to plunk myself down. Even better if I can grab an ally to walk in with.
16. I sit on the aisle. I do my best to not have to use the washroom on planes or during movies.
17. I can't think on the spot. If I feel pressure to figure something out or explain something my brain freezes.
18. I lack confidence with new people. I struggle with working with new clients and it rarely instills confidence in my abilities. Things go much better when I am on the sidelines at the beginning while getting to know them but I much prefer to deal with the technical stuff behind the scenes.
So there you have it. I'm not a snob that hates fun I just have my own way of making it! It's been working out pretty good for me so far. So if you know a shy introvert and would like to break through their barrier check out these tips:
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